Second Month Reflections and Re-evaluation

Okay, so it’s actually been more than two months, more like two and a half months, but anyway I’ve needed to stop, look back at my life in Andorra so far, and re-evaluate my goals. One of the good things about having 10 months (if I last that long) instead of 4 months like my study abroad is that I have more time to learn what works and what doesn’t and to adjust accordingly. Sometimes when I discover something good here I kick myself for not knowing sooner. Then I remember that I still have so much time left here and shouldn’t worry. It takes time to settle in to a new job and a new place, and I hope to still have things left to discover come June.
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So goals… My original reason for coming here was to improve my Spanish, to learn about a new culture, and to travel. Honestly, another reason was probably to hold off looking for a more normal, permanent job; in other words, to avoid becoming a working adult for as long as possible. Well, travelling shouldn’t be a problem considering all of the vacation time we get here, but the other ones need some attention. Oh yeah, notice how teaching English was never one of my goals? And how I didn’t give much thought to the fact that I would have an actual job here? Definitely something I should have thought about more.
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Let’s start with Spanish. It is not the official language here. Yes, it is my default language with people here because I am not super great at Catalan, but at the same time in my experience so far I hear much more Catalan than Spanish. So what do I do? I could ignore Catalan (like the majority of foreigners here) and choose to focus only on Spanish. Or I could choose to accept my level of Spanish as it is and focus on Catalan. Well, although some people think I’m weird for choosing to learn Catalan (when else am I going to use it?), this is what I am choosing to do (when else will I have the opportunity?). Even if I don’t use it in the future, I enjoy learning it. I think it is interesting and it stretches my mind learning to handle three languages in one brain (especially speaking only one at a time and not mixing them together). It may also make it easier to learn another Romance language in the future, as it seems to be closer to French or Italian than Spanish is. Side note: I have dropped my French class. I wasn’t learning enough to justify spending four hours a week there. While I’m a little disappointed, I think it was the right decision.
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Next: Learning about a new culture. One of my regrets from studying abroad in Sevilla was that I did not make enough of an effort to become immersed in the culture. I stayed in my American bubble too much. Already after two months I feel like I am doing a much better job at this, though I don’t think I will end up being as integrated into Andorran life as I initially hoped to be. Obviously it is pretty much impossible to stay trapped in an American bubble as I only know about five or six other Americans here and don’t see them that often. I teach in the local school, I live with locals (though they are from Barcelona and not Andorra), I sing in an international choir, and I give lessons in the community.
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On the other hand, while the economy here is largely focused on tourism and welcoming foreigners here to ski and shop, the culture doesn’t seem as inviting to foreigners who live here. For example, I haven’t been invited to anybody’s house or out for a drink and few of the teachers at my school seem to notice or care that I am new and don’t know anybody. They already have their lives established with their own routines and friends and don’t need to reach out to me, somebody younger than them who will only be here for a short time. This isn’t unusual, though. I give English lessons to a French woman here who has lived in Andorra for at least twenty years, and she told me that she has always been friends with other foreigners here because Andorrans don’t really reach out to others. So while I initially expected to make tons of friends with locals here, it looks like my main group of friends will be other foreigners like myself. As of now I haven’t really made many friends outside of some of the other Fulbrighters and Oxford students (especially the Oxford student at my school, Risha, though she will leave at Christmas), people in the choir, and sometimes hanging out with my roommates. The good thing is, though, that the majority of people here are foreigners. It makes for a unique atmosphere where you hang out with people of all ages from all over the place. Where else would you go clubing with people your parents' age?
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So I won’t become as “Andorran” as I expected, but that’s just being realistic. It’s also difficult knowing that while I’m here for a significant amount of time, I know it isn’t permanent so my perspective is different. So maybe I won’t worry if I’m not always going out with locals all hours of the night. I’m okay with that. I don’t really like coming home at 2, 4, or 6 in the morning, though I am surprisingly starting to get used to it. I just can’t expect to do anything productive the next day (hearing the sopranos at choir rehearsal Saturday morning was a painful experience).
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So my goals so far:
1. Learn more Catalan and practice Spanish when I can (though Spanish isn’t a priority)
2. Take advantage of things to do/learn in Andorra that I can’t find anywhere else. Most of the time I really don’t know what I’m doing here. If I had known what Andorra would be like, I wouldn’t have come. So to make the most of my year here, I want to find things that are unique to Andorra. For example, I will learn Catalan, try skiing, enjoy the scenery (taking time to look above all the buildings and construction to appreciate the mountains), and… um… take advantage of the cheap electronics, alcohol, and cigarettes? Ok, maybe not cigarettes.
3. Gain life experience. Though sometimes I feel like it would be more practical to be living in the states navigating post-graduation life and figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life, I can learn some of the same things here. For example, this is the first time I’ve had a decent pay check and have had to worry about things like rent, food, and a budget. I am learning how to navigate the bus system. I am learning how to leave school at school, to not stress out about it more than I should, and to relax when I’m not there (this is very difficult for me). I have learned how to look for an apartment. I am trying to get better at time management and slowing down. I want to become generous. I’ve also learned that I don’t want to be an ESL teacher, a middle school teacher, or probably any sort of teacher at all (though the situation here is probably the worst I would ever encounter, so I don’t want to completely exclude it from my future options).
4. Enjoy life. Sometime I have good days, but for the most part I have blah days and then really bad, bad days. The honeymoon period is over (if it ever existed in the first place, which would have been the two weeks before I started teaching), and the adjustment period isn’t over yet (I’ve heard it usually takes three to four months). So something I need to do is look for the good to be found in Andorra. Here’s something I read on a website that I like:

“Where do I sense hope, encouragement, and growth areas in my life? By looking back over the last few months, I may be able to see which activities and occasions have produced rich fruit. If I do notice such areas, I will determine to give those areas both time and space in the future.”

So far things that I like in Andorra are the church, the choir, swimming, and going to the movies (This is something I discovered this week. I saw "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus in Spanish" for fairly cheap and "Iron Man" in Catalan for free. Most movies are dubbed in Spanish, but the government dubs movies in Catalan and it was a special free event.). I also enjoy meeting with my Catalan language partner, Catalan class, hanging out with the friends I have, and tutoring (when I’m not stressed out about the lesson plans). I also enjoy talking to people about their opinions and the differences between life here and at home. Sometimes my students have good insights about this, but I particularly enjoy talking with the two women I tutor, one is a math teacher at my school, Carol, who is a Catalan women from La Seu d’Urgell just across the border and the other is a dentist, Frederique, who is French. With Carol I’ve learned a lot about the school system in Andorra. With Frederique I get to choose an article each week to discuss, and I like choosing ones that can spark a good conversation. One week we talked about bio-engineered food and she told me about her views on eating healthy, that you should only buy fish in Andorra on certain days of the week (there is nothing fresh here), and about her food experiences in America when she was younger. This week we talked about the anniversary of the destruction of the Berlin wall, and she told me about her memories of that time and also where to go if I ever visit Berlin.
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So anyway, those are all things that’ve been going through my head recently. I really need to make some changes and refocus. I don’t want to leave feeling like I’ve wasted a year of my life. Part of me really feels like if things don’t get better with teaching, since it’s such a big part of my time here, it would really be better to leave early. So far I really hate my job and it has really tainted my time here. Pray it gets better!
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In other news, I learned today that the radiator is a good substitute for a clothes dryer, that I like Kinder Bueno, and that the weekend is not a good time to go shopping because the streets are choked with slow-walking, rubber-necked tourists.